Another day

Just another day

Mother's Day and Father's Day has come and gone. One less phone call, one less cheerful greeting of hey mom or hey dad. Even though you don't relize how much that call meant to you. Most of the time my son was out to sea during those day's, but there was always a call when he got home. Of course my daughter in law called, which was sweet.

My younger son made things easier, going out to breakfast with us. Flowers for mother's day gift certificate for Father's day. He is just so sweet (but, don't tell him i said that). Keeping busy and your mind occupied is helpful. My hubby can't sit still, actually never has been able to. Since our son passed away it has been worse. Of course I understand this, sitting home and glancing over to the corner of the living room and you get flashbacks and picture a hospital bed in the corner. No matter what you do to change the room it still there. I guess it always will be.

You can change the color of the room and the carpeting, but it doesn't change the past. We have tried to make the room look different, which it does. It just change the fact that this is where he was and passed away.

You'll b sitting there reading and watching TV and suddenly you'll just glance at that area and almost just almost see him in the hospital bed. Flashbacks suck, you can relive an entire portion of life in just a few seconds. I shouldn't say that all flashback are bad there are a few that actually make you smile.

Remebering the good times are the best apart, which is the only way to continue.

Still not smoking

So far, so good. May 31st at 9:30pm was my last cigarette. I can truthfully say that I kicked the habit. With the cost of cigarettes going up, I'm glad that I don't need to put out the money on useless things. Shoes for example are much more important! Of course, now I need to watch out for weight gain. If anything will piss me off is gaining weight.

I need to lose a few (quite a few) pounds. Going on a cruise late August, i want to wear shorts. I'm not even going to think about a bathing suit (shudder, horror). Of course the urge for chocolate is greater than the urge for cigarettes. Clean lungs and wide hips, hm mm. What a dilemma.

Time to start taking my dog for a walk in the mornings. Get motivated and start moving. Sounds really good, doesn't it?

Not Smoking

I'm going to try and quit. I can't stand parting with almost $10 for a pack of cigarettes. It has now been 19 hours since my last cigarette. We shall see how long it lasts. I have high hopes, this was not a planned happening. I just don't like coughing so much in the morning.

I figured that if i can get through the first day the second will be easier. (Fingers crossed). The mornings are the worst however, with the forst cup of coffee. Okay don't think about it.

What the Fuck

What the Fuck is going on here.

Okay Ladies, I went to the store to purchase some new bras. The one's I have are actually a little old. I really hate adjusting and fixing the bra straps, bending over to make sure that you fit properly into the cup. Looking down a few times and much to my horror, i was looking at four boobs. What was going on here, there were only two of them this morning.

Looking for new bras is a chore, I like the full cup but I like them to be a little sexy with bright colors. That's a challenge, I asked the very nice sales lady to measure me. Excuse me, what did you just say????? No fucking way, that's my mothers size bra. You must be mistaken, please remeasure me. Of course she proceeded to give me the look, you know the one that's says your insane and I'll proceed very quietly so that i don't startle you.

Okay I know that I have gained a few pounds over the years, who hasn't? I'll never be a size 2 again, (wedding gown size). Stress is a huge factor and of course my love of CHOCOLATE and SWEETS. But, i was actually floored in regards to bust size, I'm not overly plump, chunky is a pleasant word to use. But, holy mother my bust should, let me repeat, should not be this size.

I tried on the bras to prove to the sales clerk that was keeping an eye me, due to the waving of my hands and the mumbling and cursing. WRONG. So I have to admit that the sales clerk was right, the bras fit perfectly. Now, this didn't make me feel any better.

As i came out of the store my hubby was hanging out waiting for me, what's wrong was the question as he looked at my face. I mumbled something about the size of my bra, WOW Really he said with a huge grin on his face!!!! GO FIGURE.......

Happy Birthday B

Happy Birthday B,
23 Years old today. I can't believe it. Your such a sweet man, yes man. Where in the world did the time go.

I remember having to leave you at the hospital, you were so jaundiced. Blue lights on your little body, 5lbs 13Oz's 16in long. Your were so tiny, and of course you didn't want to eat at all. All you wanted to do was sleep (some things never change) ;)

You always had the gift of gab, even at an early age. I loved to hear you try and talk yourself out trouble. You always tried very hard, and sometimes you succeeded in wearing me down. Your middle name should have been stubborn, because you sure were and still are even after 23 years.

Your independence amazed me, your favorite thing to say to me was "I can do it myself" no matter what it was. You were usually able to pull it off, your tenacity and love of life is still there, just changed slightly.

Your humour and quick wit, where in hell did it come from. I love seeing the sparkle in your brown eyes, just before your going to start something. Your infectious laugh when something strikes you funny.

Your face the first time that you saw George, what a ball of fluff he was. Seeing you give him a big hug and of course go ewww when he has drool hanging off his jowls. (yuck)

You have been going through a rough patch, handling the death of you brother, standing my me and dad. You have been my rock and sounding board on many occasions. Sometimes, i think i overburdened you , talking about the care and handling of your brother's cancer. You have no idea how much you have been able to stabilize me, after talking to you on different subjects, i needed to rethink certain things. Putting your life on hold to care and help your brother, staying in San Diego and taking him to chemo. Dealing with the difficulties with your sister in law.

I really admire the person that you become. You need to go back to school now and get your life back on track, it's your time.

I just wanted to say Happy Birthday and tell you how proud of you I am.

Gremlins

There are Gremlins afoot in my household. Come on, I know it sounds crazy. But it's true. Things missing when you know that you put them right there on the counter, shoes not where you left them. I haven't seen them yet, but they are right around the door jam waiting to disrupt my already insane life.

I walked out of the room the other day to put something away and when I came back to the kitchen to finish my coffee i found the half full cup in the sink. Now, i know that I for one would never waste coffee. So tell me how in the world did the coffe cup get in the sink?

I used the vacuum cleaner yesterday and it worked just fine, when i turned it on today it spewed dust and dirt at me. Funny that it worked fine one day and the next it turned out to be the demon from hell. The dishes that I know I did before I went to bed are sitting in the sink again. NOPE, I'M NOT CRAZY, it's those little bastards hard at work.

I know that the little bastards are laughing their furry little asses off at the pranks that they pull. Like the other day, i put down an important letter, right on the table so that i could put it in my pocket book and answer it the next morning. Can someone please tell me how it got on top of the refrigerator? I don"t put things up that high because i really can't see them up there.

I can tell that they re out there just waiting with their toothy grins for me to put something down or away. Then bam off they go with it. Sometimes i even think they follow me to work to have a really good time. CRASH goes the computer that work like a charm, now it's memory is fried.

When and if i ever see those little bastards I'll squash them into the fur balls that they are. I also know that I'm not the only one out there that has Gremlins. Just think about it the next time you say that you misplaced something, i bet that you really didn't misplace it at all.

no time

I always have things to say, just not the time to say it or blog it. It seems that there just isn't enough time to sit down formulate the words that I need to write down.

There are many things happening in and around the Scan household. Sister's hubby going for serious surgery, trying to get B moving in the right direction (after all he'll be 23 this month). Of course many other things that just need to be done or looked into.

This weather hasn't been helping at all, just makes me want to curl up in a chair and relax or read. Which of course there isn't time for that. I just need a little more time in my day, a few extra minutes.