Empty Nest Syndrome, I think not. I dearly love my youngest son, his humor, compassionate nature, his soulful brown eyes and his quick wit. He is off to Omaha, Nebraska tonight. Yes, I will miss him dreadfully, but this will be the best thing for him.
It's time for B to start his life now. He had to put his life on hold for a time, which he did without any hesitation. He had the strength to help his brother through chemo treatments and watch the decline of his brother who passed almost two years ago from cancer.
B has the strength within to make his life in a new place, I only wish him the best. He needs to be able to restart what he begun a few years ago, his intelligence is amazing. He has always been able to debate anything, and I mean ANYTHING. From what time he needed to go to bed, or whether or not he had to have another snack before bedtime (needed for a growing boy).
His growth and compassion overwhelm me at times. He is a very strong willed individual and stubborn as a mule. He might have lost his way for a time, in fact I think we all have. Deep down I know that this will be the right move for him.
I give him credit for being able to make this decision and stand by it. It isn't a easy feat to move to another state just knowing a few people and what kind of employment there is out there. B is going to land on his feet.
Sometimes I feel that I have put extra weight on this son of mine. He was able to listen to me vent, was there for me when I thought I wounldn"t be able to take much more grief. I would have liked for him to grow into a man with a little less knowledge of grief. I love him and am so proud that he is able to make such bold decision. He goes with all of my love and all of my hope and dreams for him to make this a special time in his life.
I love you sweetie, my tears are proud tears and some sad ones too. Just know that I am standing here knowing that you will succeed in whatever endeavor you choose. No matter what the future holds for you, you will be in my heart.
Good luck and drive extra careful.
Please whatever you do don't bring home any blonde's ;)
Love always Mom
Monday, January 4, 2010
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Tomorrow
I always hear I'll do that tomorrow, or I'll have more time tomorrow. In my opinion tomorrow is just another day. It doesn't change that fact that we still have to work tomorrow. Doesn't change that overwhelming feeling, the only thing that changes is the date, or the time.
You won't have more time tomorrow, you'll still only have 24 hours. No more or less, so you see tomorrow will still be the same as today. The weather may change and the seasons, but tomorrow will still come and will be the same as today.
Holidays will come and go, anniversaries, birthdays too. The word tomorrow doesn't change the way I feel or my attitude, nor does the changing of the day. Tomorrow will come and will be the same as today.
You won't have more time tomorrow, you'll still only have 24 hours. No more or less, so you see tomorrow will still be the same as today. The weather may change and the seasons, but tomorrow will still come and will be the same as today.
Holidays will come and go, anniversaries, birthdays too. The word tomorrow doesn't change the way I feel or my attitude, nor does the changing of the day. Tomorrow will come and will be the same as today.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Another day
Here it is September 17th again, you would have been 27. 27 years old with the world in front of you and your family behind you. Instead I sit here writing this because cancer took you away at such a young age. I wanted to post a heartfelt blog to you and your memories, but I find that i;m not able to do that right now. I'm just going to hold my memories to myself and remember your smile.
Just know that I'm thinking about you daily and love and miss you always.
Just know that I'm thinking about you daily and love and miss you always.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Bored
This is what happens when your bored and annoyed. I can't tolerate the fact that bras just don't fit the way they should. So this is a letter that I posted and sent to Maidenform the other day. It made me and "the girls" feel better just sending it out.
August 17, 2009
Maidenform Customer Service
800 Technology Drive
Fayetteville, NC 28306
Dear Maidenform,
“The girls” just aren’t happy with the enclosed bra. We need to be nestled together, nipples pointing forward. This bra, however does not comply with the rules. The nipples DO NOT like to be facing out to each side with the inner breasts touching. Please understand that we are not small and perky breasts. You can see by the size on the bra that we need and must have support. There are only two (2) of us not four (4), this bra is trying to multiply and divide. Two extra globes resting on the top of the bra after being worn for a short time does not look good.
We are not looking for a refund, just some understanding. Larger breast have a tendency to droop, the right bra is very meaningful to us. Please help by keeping us nestled together, nipples pointing forward and having the right amount of underwire support.
We “the girls” thank you.
Sincerely, the owner of said girls
August 17, 2009
Maidenform Customer Service
800 Technology Drive
Fayetteville, NC 28306
Dear Maidenform,
“The girls” just aren’t happy with the enclosed bra. We need to be nestled together, nipples pointing forward. This bra, however does not comply with the rules. The nipples DO NOT like to be facing out to each side with the inner breasts touching. Please understand that we are not small and perky breasts. You can see by the size on the bra that we need and must have support. There are only two (2) of us not four (4), this bra is trying to multiply and divide. Two extra globes resting on the top of the bra after being worn for a short time does not look good.
We are not looking for a refund, just some understanding. Larger breast have a tendency to droop, the right bra is very meaningful to us. Please help by keeping us nestled together, nipples pointing forward and having the right amount of underwire support.
We “the girls” thank you.
Sincerely, the owner of said girls
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Shiney Sliver bag in the back of the closet
Shiney Sliver bag in the back of the closet.
There it sat undisturbed for many years, no looking at it, or rummaging around inside of it. The shiney silver bag in the back of the closet.
As I was looking for one of my shoes in the bottom of my closet the other, i spotted a shiney silver bag tucked way in the back. I couldn't figure out what I put into the bag. I wasn't going to look or even think about it. I would be late for work (again). It took me a few minutes of pulling out pockets books, shoes, wrapping paper, and other misc. items before I found the shoe I was looking for. I was trying to stuff everything back into my closet and I mean stuff, I had that thought what in the world is in that bag. I don't remember putting in my closet.
Resigned to the fact that I would be late to work again, i pulled everything out that i just stuffed back into my closet. Pulled the bag out and of course it ripped down the side. The first thing that came out was a miniture autographed hockey stick with about five names on it from the Washington Capitals. I remember when that happened, at a hockey tournament with the boys, they were playing at the same arena that the Capitols were practising at. I smiled as I thought about the awe in their eyes at seeing these players right there in front of them. "Hey dad did you get a look at the size of that guy" What a great memory.
OH my god look at these tiny little eye covers. B had jaunance so bad that he was under the blue lights for days. He weighed in a 5lbs, 13ozs, so tiny. His eyes needed to be covered under the lights. Rememering that I had to leave him in the hospital for two additional days. Could only go in and feed him, then back under the lights. Wow, things you almost forget.
Wrist bands for me and my 1st baby boy, i sat there and cried like a baby. Little bands that were around his foot. Okay maybe not too little. J weighed in at 9lbs, 12ozs. I just stroked them and remembered him as an infant.
My very first Mothers day card, or should I say Mother to be card. I can't believe it survived, but i'm very glad that it did.
Two measuring tapes, one for each boy from the hospital. It might have had the markings on it at on time. I remember asking the nurse for it right after they were measured. It was funny seeing the look on their faces, it just a measuring tape. I know that, but it just measured my son. I can't believe that I have both of them.
Two baggies, baby teeth wrapped in tissue. The same way we wrapped them and put them under their pillows for the tooth fairy. Yes, i did forget at least once to remove the tooth and leave money. I was albe to make the switch as they were looking under the bed, you know that tooth fairy might be very tired and left it under the bed!
I was wonderful to find all those memories, some were bittersweet. I really felt like I had a whole in my heart after looking at everything. I enjoyed my time with my memories and replaced everything minus the shiney silver bag.
There it sat undisturbed for many years, no looking at it, or rummaging around inside of it. The shiney silver bag in the back of the closet.
As I was looking for one of my shoes in the bottom of my closet the other, i spotted a shiney silver bag tucked way in the back. I couldn't figure out what I put into the bag. I wasn't going to look or even think about it. I would be late for work (again). It took me a few minutes of pulling out pockets books, shoes, wrapping paper, and other misc. items before I found the shoe I was looking for. I was trying to stuff everything back into my closet and I mean stuff, I had that thought what in the world is in that bag. I don't remember putting in my closet.
Resigned to the fact that I would be late to work again, i pulled everything out that i just stuffed back into my closet. Pulled the bag out and of course it ripped down the side. The first thing that came out was a miniture autographed hockey stick with about five names on it from the Washington Capitals. I remember when that happened, at a hockey tournament with the boys, they were playing at the same arena that the Capitols were practising at. I smiled as I thought about the awe in their eyes at seeing these players right there in front of them. "Hey dad did you get a look at the size of that guy" What a great memory.
OH my god look at these tiny little eye covers. B had jaunance so bad that he was under the blue lights for days. He weighed in a 5lbs, 13ozs, so tiny. His eyes needed to be covered under the lights. Rememering that I had to leave him in the hospital for two additional days. Could only go in and feed him, then back under the lights. Wow, things you almost forget.
Wrist bands for me and my 1st baby boy, i sat there and cried like a baby. Little bands that were around his foot. Okay maybe not too little. J weighed in at 9lbs, 12ozs. I just stroked them and remembered him as an infant.
My very first Mothers day card, or should I say Mother to be card. I can't believe it survived, but i'm very glad that it did.
Two measuring tapes, one for each boy from the hospital. It might have had the markings on it at on time. I remember asking the nurse for it right after they were measured. It was funny seeing the look on their faces, it just a measuring tape. I know that, but it just measured my son. I can't believe that I have both of them.
Two baggies, baby teeth wrapped in tissue. The same way we wrapped them and put them under their pillows for the tooth fairy. Yes, i did forget at least once to remove the tooth and leave money. I was albe to make the switch as they were looking under the bed, you know that tooth fairy might be very tired and left it under the bed!
I was wonderful to find all those memories, some were bittersweet. I really felt like I had a whole in my heart after looking at everything. I enjoyed my time with my memories and replaced everything minus the shiney silver bag.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Just awesome
Saturday was just a typical day of chores and trying to keep up with housework. Housework lost big time this weekend. Hubby and I went to Walmart to get the dog some treats, my phone rang and it's my sister. I love hearing from my sister, except now I worry because her hubby is having back surgery this Wednesday. I just get concerned, hoping all is good.
Hello I said, after a brief hi what's new and so on. Next question do you want to go see Paul McCartney in concert tonight? What was that? Let me ask hubby, of course the answer is YES. When does it start? 6:30 tonight and it's 3pm now. Have to get said tickets go home change and catch the train into the city, it's doable.
We made it to Citifield by 7:30pm and the opening act was still going strong. We didn't miss anything. So now Hubby is starving we haven't had anything to eat yet. There really isn't much to eat there beside sausages, hot dogs and hamburgers. Not really my kind of food, hubby got a hot dog and soda. I ended up with Nathan Fries and really wanted the cheese to go over them, but I resisted. (cruise next month).
Paul McCartney was excellent, he rocked Citifield. I was totally amazed, of course we didn't stay in our seats. We wandered down to the main level and stood behind the rail and had an awesome time. Tribute to Linda made everyone cry, he sang "My Love". A mention and songs to John Lennon and to George Harrison, it was wonderful. I can't believe how great he is. The stage show was great, the pyro-technics were excellent. He is a crowd pleaser. At one time is was talking about singing and looking at the signs in the audience, and how sometimes you end up singing what's on the sign.
On of the signs were "Paul marry me" his comments was NO thank you, not again. He interacted with the audience with pleasure and humor. I loved the faces he made and his references to his other concerts, especially when they first played in America and couldn't hear their own music over the girls screaming. Of course, how much he loved the girls screaming which starting the audience screaming.
The music was so good and so loud by the end your ears were ringing and your feet were still tapping. The next best part of the concert was people watching. All I can say is OH MY GOD, do people have magic mirrors or what. Does anyone look into a full length mirror? In a way I'm glad they don't, because i had a lot of entertaining moments.
The guard that stands in front of the steps to show you your lower levels seat was a lot of fun. He was in his mid sixties with white hair, slightly balding and a belly. He was singing away and swaying to the music, but let me tell you. He was really checking out the woman, laugh you ass of funny. As they would run up the stairs for either a beer run and bathroom break, he would be right there ogling. I mean I was dying. The guy had no problem looking, he really didn't care. He actually did the Groucho thing with his eyebrows a few times. Absolutely hilarious.
Some of these ladies (well maybe i shouldn't say ladies), but come on. If you can't contain your breasts in your sundress maybe you need a larger size. If your tank top ends up in your cleavage, it's time to retire it and get a larger size. There was enough silicone out there to float a cruise ship. I think silicone floats, based on the the bouncing boobs out there.
I had the best time, so thanks again Tracey and Brian. I love you much
Hello I said, after a brief hi what's new and so on. Next question do you want to go see Paul McCartney in concert tonight? What was that? Let me ask hubby, of course the answer is YES. When does it start? 6:30 tonight and it's 3pm now. Have to get said tickets go home change and catch the train into the city, it's doable.
We made it to Citifield by 7:30pm and the opening act was still going strong. We didn't miss anything. So now Hubby is starving we haven't had anything to eat yet. There really isn't much to eat there beside sausages, hot dogs and hamburgers. Not really my kind of food, hubby got a hot dog and soda. I ended up with Nathan Fries and really wanted the cheese to go over them, but I resisted. (cruise next month).
Paul McCartney was excellent, he rocked Citifield. I was totally amazed, of course we didn't stay in our seats. We wandered down to the main level and stood behind the rail and had an awesome time. Tribute to Linda made everyone cry, he sang "My Love". A mention and songs to John Lennon and to George Harrison, it was wonderful. I can't believe how great he is. The stage show was great, the pyro-technics were excellent. He is a crowd pleaser. At one time is was talking about singing and looking at the signs in the audience, and how sometimes you end up singing what's on the sign.
On of the signs were "Paul marry me" his comments was NO thank you, not again. He interacted with the audience with pleasure and humor. I loved the faces he made and his references to his other concerts, especially when they first played in America and couldn't hear their own music over the girls screaming. Of course, how much he loved the girls screaming which starting the audience screaming.
The music was so good and so loud by the end your ears were ringing and your feet were still tapping. The next best part of the concert was people watching. All I can say is OH MY GOD, do people have magic mirrors or what. Does anyone look into a full length mirror? In a way I'm glad they don't, because i had a lot of entertaining moments.
The guard that stands in front of the steps to show you your lower levels seat was a lot of fun. He was in his mid sixties with white hair, slightly balding and a belly. He was singing away and swaying to the music, but let me tell you. He was really checking out the woman, laugh you ass of funny. As they would run up the stairs for either a beer run and bathroom break, he would be right there ogling. I mean I was dying. The guy had no problem looking, he really didn't care. He actually did the Groucho thing with his eyebrows a few times. Absolutely hilarious.
Some of these ladies (well maybe i shouldn't say ladies), but come on. If you can't contain your breasts in your sundress maybe you need a larger size. If your tank top ends up in your cleavage, it's time to retire it and get a larger size. There was enough silicone out there to float a cruise ship. I think silicone floats, based on the the bouncing boobs out there.
I had the best time, so thanks again Tracey and Brian. I love you much
Friday, July 10, 2009
Not a personal preference
Okay people listen up, it's not personal preference to bathe or not too bathe. I'm down wind of you. Give me a fucking break. When your eyes start to water and you have to cover you mouth and nose with your short sleeves, something is seriously wrong. I know that there are medical conditions that cause some body orders and of course elderly do have some problems with hygiene (falling in the shower). Younger people should not smell so fowl.
At the store the other day i was behind or down wind of a person who seriously needed a hose down. Economy is not the blame for people showering, or even trying to wash with a face cloth. When your hair is matted, and your clothes need to be scraped before washing you have a problem. Okay, so I have heard all the common threads from depression, can't afford new clothes, homeless and ever thing else. Yes, i do sympathize with some of these people, but my nose and stomach can only take so much.
So, yes the person that gave you a dirty look and waved her hand in front of her face several times was ME. Was I rude DAMN STRAIGHT, I don't want to be behind you in a food store buying makings for dinner. Put down the candy and doughnuts and purchase a bar of SOAP, I'll even pay for it. I really don't care what you eat or how you dress, but when you put out that strong of an odor and I'm behind you, watch out for the rude comments. I don't care if I hurt your feelings, you are destroying my personal space, disrupting my air with your foul stench.
So please, be considerate of others that are around you. It only takes a very short amount of your precious time to wash, bathe, jump in the ocean, run through the sprinkler, or any thing else that will take away some of the decaying aroma that surrounds you..........
At the store the other day i was behind or down wind of a person who seriously needed a hose down. Economy is not the blame for people showering, or even trying to wash with a face cloth. When your hair is matted, and your clothes need to be scraped before washing you have a problem. Okay, so I have heard all the common threads from depression, can't afford new clothes, homeless and ever thing else. Yes, i do sympathize with some of these people, but my nose and stomach can only take so much.
So, yes the person that gave you a dirty look and waved her hand in front of her face several times was ME. Was I rude DAMN STRAIGHT, I don't want to be behind you in a food store buying makings for dinner. Put down the candy and doughnuts and purchase a bar of SOAP, I'll even pay for it. I really don't care what you eat or how you dress, but when you put out that strong of an odor and I'm behind you, watch out for the rude comments. I don't care if I hurt your feelings, you are destroying my personal space, disrupting my air with your foul stench.
So please, be considerate of others that are around you. It only takes a very short amount of your precious time to wash, bathe, jump in the ocean, run through the sprinkler, or any thing else that will take away some of the decaying aroma that surrounds you..........
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