Saturday, June 27, 2009

Another day

Just another day

Mother's Day and Father's Day has come and gone. One less phone call, one less cheerful greeting of hey mom or hey dad. Even though you don't relize how much that call meant to you. Most of the time my son was out to sea during those day's, but there was always a call when he got home. Of course my daughter in law called, which was sweet.

My younger son made things easier, going out to breakfast with us. Flowers for mother's day gift certificate for Father's day. He is just so sweet (but, don't tell him i said that). Keeping busy and your mind occupied is helpful. My hubby can't sit still, actually never has been able to. Since our son passed away it has been worse. Of course I understand this, sitting home and glancing over to the corner of the living room and you get flashbacks and picture a hospital bed in the corner. No matter what you do to change the room it still there. I guess it always will be.

You can change the color of the room and the carpeting, but it doesn't change the past. We have tried to make the room look different, which it does. It just change the fact that this is where he was and passed away.

You'll b sitting there reading and watching TV and suddenly you'll just glance at that area and almost just almost see him in the hospital bed. Flashbacks suck, you can relive an entire portion of life in just a few seconds. I shouldn't say that all flashback are bad there are a few that actually make you smile.

Remebering the good times are the best apart, which is the only way to continue.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Still not smoking

So far, so good. May 31st at 9:30pm was my last cigarette. I can truthfully say that I kicked the habit. With the cost of cigarettes going up, I'm glad that I don't need to put out the money on useless things. Shoes for example are much more important! Of course, now I need to watch out for weight gain. If anything will piss me off is gaining weight.

I need to lose a few (quite a few) pounds. Going on a cruise late August, i want to wear shorts. I'm not even going to think about a bathing suit (shudder, horror). Of course the urge for chocolate is greater than the urge for cigarettes. Clean lungs and wide hips, hm mm. What a dilemma.

Time to start taking my dog for a walk in the mornings. Get motivated and start moving. Sounds really good, doesn't it?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Not Smoking

I'm going to try and quit. I can't stand parting with almost $10 for a pack of cigarettes. It has now been 19 hours since my last cigarette. We shall see how long it lasts. I have high hopes, this was not a planned happening. I just don't like coughing so much in the morning.

I figured that if i can get through the first day the second will be easier. (Fingers crossed). The mornings are the worst however, with the forst cup of coffee. Okay don't think about it.

What the Fuck

What the Fuck is going on here.

Okay Ladies, I went to the store to purchase some new bras. The one's I have are actually a little old. I really hate adjusting and fixing the bra straps, bending over to make sure that you fit properly into the cup. Looking down a few times and much to my horror, i was looking at four boobs. What was going on here, there were only two of them this morning.

Looking for new bras is a chore, I like the full cup but I like them to be a little sexy with bright colors. That's a challenge, I asked the very nice sales lady to measure me. Excuse me, what did you just say????? No fucking way, that's my mothers size bra. You must be mistaken, please remeasure me. Of course she proceeded to give me the look, you know the one that's says your insane and I'll proceed very quietly so that i don't startle you.

Okay I know that I have gained a few pounds over the years, who hasn't? I'll never be a size 2 again, (wedding gown size). Stress is a huge factor and of course my love of CHOCOLATE and SWEETS. But, i was actually floored in regards to bust size, I'm not overly plump, chunky is a pleasant word to use. But, holy mother my bust should, let me repeat, should not be this size.

I tried on the bras to prove to the sales clerk that was keeping an eye me, due to the waving of my hands and the mumbling and cursing. WRONG. So I have to admit that the sales clerk was right, the bras fit perfectly. Now, this didn't make me feel any better.

As i came out of the store my hubby was hanging out waiting for me, what's wrong was the question as he looked at my face. I mumbled something about the size of my bra, WOW Really he said with a huge grin on his face!!!! GO FIGURE.......