Friday, February 25, 2011

dreams

Your face was so solemn, your eyes so incredibly sad. You stood so tall and erect, my heart ached just to be seeing you. Your daughter was standing next to me and your eyes just devoured the sight of her. You couldn't take your eyes off of her. So, so sad was your expression, i couldn't seem to get that out of my mind. I reached out to hug you, you were just out of my reach. I smiled at you and you cried. My heart broke into a million pieces. I'm not sure that I can mend myself again.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Listen

Listen can you hear it? This is goes, very faint tones. It soothes me as the melody reaches my heart. So faint, so very beautiful as the breeze blows very gently against the chimes. It echoes through my soul, a deep tone as it carriers on the breeze.

It took me awhile to find just the right spot to hang my wind chimes. If I hung them in the back I would only be able to hear them at night. So, I ended up hanging them on the front porch, this way I hear them early in the morning, at night when i'm watching TV. I pass them every time I go in and out of the house, puts a smile on my face.

It's funny how sometimes the chimes can echo your moods, soft melodies when your having a good day and deep resonating tones when your angry. I love my wind chimes and I love the person that gave them to me. Thank you so much for my wind chimes. As soon as figure out how to post a picture i'll put one up of my chimes.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

missing you

Why don't you come and visit me in my dreams? I'm aching for you. I need to know that your doing alright. I need to know that you still love me, my heart knows but my head doesn't. Did I do everything that I should have done? It's been almost three years now that you have left us. Do I have guilt, yes I do. I know that I shouldn't, but I really do. Your on my mind everyday, what you had to endure. The pain that you were in towards the end of young life. You shouldn't have had to deal with that, so young, so much purpose left to your life. A family, children and a career that you loved. I haven't been able to come to terms that your gone from my life.

I would have traded my life for yours in a heartbeat, i would have changed places with you without any questions asked. I remember that Dad said something like to you and you freaked out. It wasn't meant to upset you, it was said from the heart because it hurt so much to know what you were going through.

I always ask the same question of myself, did I do everything I could? Should I have taken you elsewhere? What else could I have done for you? I guess this happens because you really don't know the answers to those questions. Your heart and your head are in constant disagreement with each other about the answers.

I love you and miss you with all of my heart.