Thursday, February 3, 2011

missing you

Why don't you come and visit me in my dreams? I'm aching for you. I need to know that your doing alright. I need to know that you still love me, my heart knows but my head doesn't. Did I do everything that I should have done? It's been almost three years now that you have left us. Do I have guilt, yes I do. I know that I shouldn't, but I really do. Your on my mind everyday, what you had to endure. The pain that you were in towards the end of young life. You shouldn't have had to deal with that, so young, so much purpose left to your life. A family, children and a career that you loved. I haven't been able to come to terms that your gone from my life.

I would have traded my life for yours in a heartbeat, i would have changed places with you without any questions asked. I remember that Dad said something like to you and you freaked out. It wasn't meant to upset you, it was said from the heart because it hurt so much to know what you were going through.

I always ask the same question of myself, did I do everything I could? Should I have taken you elsewhere? What else could I have done for you? I guess this happens because you really don't know the answers to those questions. Your heart and your head are in constant disagreement with each other about the answers.

I love you and miss you with all of my heart.

1 comment:

Catootes said...

you did everything.
The most important thing you did was love. And in loving gave comfort, solace, support and of yourself.

There are no answers, Fate is a fickle merciless bitch.

Love you.