Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Over the years.

It's funny the things that go through you thoughts on a daily basis'. Getting through the year 2012 was a lot more complicated than anticipated. I had the every two year blues, almost like waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. It's how our life has been for awhile now coincidence I don't think so. Fate, nah. Just life.

In February of 2003 my brother in law was in an explosion is Staten Island. Hair raising experience for sure. He was the lucky one that survived, however the treatment for burns is not so easy. The pain that he was in was incredible. It seemed that it never ended, braiding the old skin so that new skin could grow was not an easy process for him or the family to deal with. Obviously it something that is over with but the memories still remain.

In January of 2004 my mom went in to the hospital for back surgery, my sister and I tried so many times to talk her out of it. At her age and health it wasn't something that we thought should happen. She was adamant that this is going to help her back pain, and my dad thought that as long as it helped her feel better he was all for it. Sometime during or right after the surgery her blood pressure dropped dramatically and I believe that this affected her recovery. She never came home after that, in and out of rehab's, hospitals and idiot doctors with a god complex. It was disheartening to watch her fail. It broke my dad's heart every time he visited her. It was either very long or very short 5 months whichever way you look at it. So one midnight evening my mother passed in May 2004.

Thanksgiving should be a time of families being together, cooking, laughing, and bickering. We should not have been taking dinner to my dad in the hospital. After being diagnosed with skin cancer, what a miserable disease cancer is. It just sucks the life force out of you. He did the chemo and the radiation with such grace and dignity. He amazed us on a daily basis. Between the cancer and other health related issue's (including a broken heart) dad past from our lives ever so peacefully December 2006.

Parents should not out live their children, it hurts too much. Chemo and doctors and so much more than I care to go into at this point. Needless to say that the year of 2008 was pretty much a blur to me. It was just so much to go through and get through. It was a never ending year.

The year of 2010 was another one of those years. Dealing with lung cancer, my father in law was a funny guy. Never one to create drama but always one with a smile. He had such a fear of dying and watching him get to that point was heart wrenching. So one day in April 2012 he past on.

In between all this happening was also some other stuff, my nephew getting bit by a brown recluse spider. Those little suckers are nasty!
Then of course just life in general.

I think that I was holding my breather most of 2012 just waiting and waiting. I really thought that something onimus was going to happen. Yes, we did have a crisis in December. But we got through it. Family is such an important factor in every day life. I know for one that I would be totally lost without my hubby. My son is such an amazing person. My sister is my rock and my sounding board.


Anonymous said...

Maybe I shouldn't post this here as it seems a serious matter, but I emailed you.

Catootes said...

Life can hand out a fuck ton of heartache in a short period of time but in spite of that, there is love, laughter and great joy to be found in small sacred spaces. We've found them.

Right back at you on the rock and sounding board, btw.